The other day my husband declared, “I am not my job, it’s just something I do.” I found this statement to be very profound, almost like a “breakthrough” sort of moment. It was a rough year for me because he was blessed with a ton of opportunities for working overtime. This was very good for our bank account. Not so good for our relationship. When he does have time off with us I pretty much lose it if he spends any off-time doing anything “work” related. Nevertheless, I thought to myself, “I need to adopt this ‘I’m not my job’ attitude about my job too.” Then I woke up. HELLO?!?! YOU ARE A STAY AT HOME MOM – YOU AND YOUR JOB ARE ONE IN THE SAME!
I am in no way taking anything away from my darling husband, it’s just that he and I live such different lives now. I will never forget how in the throes of my first bout of Post Partum Depression I felt like I was mourning the loss of our love, our connection and our (at the time) 12 year long relationship. Now, I sort of have it together (did I just say that?) and I ADORE my beautiful children. They are my heart’s delight now and forever. I am beyond grateful to be a part of this amazing aspect of womanhood and even more grateful for these funny little people that God has graced me with.
A big part of me wants time for myself, a break or what have you, but in all honesty, I don’t want to miss a second of all this. Whine and moan as I might, I still am very aware of the fact that I will never get my babies back as they are on this day. So for now, I accept the fact that being a mommy at home means that I do not get a day off (very often) and I am on call 24/7 . . . and for this I am very grateful.